yesterday i had a 21st birthday party with brother at mindscafe purvis street.

that was my first ever birthday party.

that was my first ever birthday without dad as well.

when brother told me that we're gonna make a speech, i was bit reluctant really. not that i'm shy (like since when), but that i know what will happen.

and it did. i started my speech crying.

honestly, i felt so paiseh. i nv cried in front of so many ppl before.

i told my friends. all those whom i've invited, all my close friends, that i'm so thankful for their presence. that they've been through all these turmoil with me and see me through ups and downs. that without them, i'm sure that i won't be able to live to see myself holding a birthday party with brother. i find comfort in these wonderful people, enough for me to not shed tears every single day.

although dad is unable to see me turn 21, unable to see my growth, unable to eat my birthday cake, unable to wish me happy birthday, deep down, i know that he wished he could do so. Not just my 21st, but my 22nd, 23rd, 24th and so on. deep down, i know that he wished he could be there to witness every part of my life. and i know that he'll give up everything and anything to do so.

just that god wants to take him away. and he has no choice but to leave.

yesterday's party was really a grand event and i truly enjoyed myself, playing games from table to table.

honestly my friends, thank you. thank you. thank you.

if i could say a trillion thanks, that will be for you, my friends.

天下无不散之筵席，大概就是如此。