失落沙洲

又來到這個港口 沒有原因的拘留
我的心乘著斑駁的輕舟
尋找失落的沙洲

隨 時間的海浪漂流
我用力張開雙手
擁抱那麼多起起落落
想念的還是你望著我的眼波

我不是一定要你回來
只是當又一個人看海
回頭才發現你不在
留下我迂迴的徘徊

我不是一定要你回來
只是當又把回憶翻開
除了你之外的空白
還有誰能來教我愛

又回到這個盡頭 我也想再往前走
只是愈看見海闊天空
愈遺憾沒有你分享我的感動

我不是一定要你回來
只是當又一個人看海
疲憊的身影不是我
不是你想看見的我

我不是一定要你回來
只是當獨自走入人海
除了你之外的依賴
還有誰能叫我勇敢

除了你之外的空白
還有誰能來教我愛

第一次跟着唱，竟然唱到哭了。
歌词与歌曲，感染力好强。
尤其是歌词，真的让我感同身受。。。

我觉得
自己的笑容好像变得不漂亮了。。。

failed driving.

i knew it. i just knew it.

prior to the test, i received so much depressing news.

ryan's dad passed away, the p4 girl knocked down by a CAR and died, witnessed a TRAFFIC accident e day before today, got a freaking tough press release assignment on a release of a new CAR, mum telling me abt a mum and daughter bringing a dead kitten to the vet not knowing that it's dead...

best part. the rain started falling heavily just as i started my driving test and i couldn't see e back view properly and had to go for multiple attempts.

my life.

this is my life. this is how much it resembles a joke.

this is how amazingly suay it could be.

疯子

刷牙我想哭　洗脸我想哭　
走路我想哭　静止我想哭
出太阳我想哭　起风我想哭　
听歌我想哭　看喜剧我想哭

我控制不住自己　
负担太重的情绪
我拒绝　面对结局　
沉重的问题 我不想听

你给的很多规矩　
说了很久的道理　
却麻木了我的心
再压抑　再压抑　我快不行
天摇地动　昏天暗地

有眼泪没眼泪　你觉得我疯了
我瞬间耳鸣　听不见你们说的
我疯言我疯语　眼泪让我瞎了
模糊我眼前世界　
原来快乐要用悲伤换得

可值不值得　你别想否认　
我要的自由能不能得永生
可是我累了　我只好哭了　
我像疯子般的不停的哭
我没有出路　
你也当我是个疯子　
我是个疯子

i took a long bath.

i scrubbed myself so hard that it hurts.

but nothing could beat this.

i tried swallowing my sorrows with gulps and gulps of water

subsequently, i felt like vomiting

but i couldn't do it.

now it's stuck in my throat.

once again spreading like a virus throughout my body.

i know how horribly sad you'll feel when you know that you couldn't be there for me.

couldn't be there to help me with along with life.

couldn't be there to cheer me up.

couldn't be there to teach me how to drive.

couldn't be there to tell me that in life, as long as you've tried your best, it's fine.

it must be worse than the pain i'm going through now.

how do i articulate to anyone about my desire to pass this friday's driving test?

how?

i'm not gifted with the ability.

will i or will i not succeed?
i keep telling myself that i HAVE to do it. i NEED to do it.
and i really hope that this will allow me to pull through.

clam.