please stop blaming other people and learn to take up some responsibilities on your own.

coz if you don't help yourself, nobody can help you.

you're given chance after chance to prove yourself, and yet you failed.

i seriously ponder if you should be given another chance at this again.

i'd rather you be given another chance at something else which you might just excel in.

you don't owe me anything baby.

but i feel that you've owed yourself.

tell me how many promises you've broken and how many excuses you've came up with to substantiate them.

is it worth the repeated years? the extra loan?

and most importantly, the time lost?

every time this happened, you'll issue a promise that you can't fulfill. how can anyone trust that this time, things will be different?

also, my dear, there are definitely other ways out. this just may not be the way for you.

in any case, of course I hope that this time round, the results will be different, that you'll fulfill your promise, and maybe even outperform.

but base on what I know about you, I really doubt it.

nevertheless, i love you. and of course I hope that this time round, it'll work out for you. but part of me wishes that you'll take other paths ahead of you, which are more tailor-made for you, I feel.

i miss you.

人为什么要活到这么累？

人为什么要活到这么黑暗？

人为什么要活到这么悲惨？

人为什么要活到这么自怜？

人为什么要活到这么自欺欺人？

人为什么要把自己的不快乐推到别人身上？

难道自己不能承担自己的快乐吗？

it was before i took a nap that i recalled my dreams yesterday night.

dad came back. we lived together happily for a period of time.

one day he disappeared.

i walked past the sides of the vast ocean waters. and i thought i saw the back view of a human figure in the waters.

it suddenly occurred to me that. dad was long gone. and the figure that came back to us was just a manifestation of my deepest desire. apparently some spirits heard it and decided to fulfill it for a moment.

the day when the figure disappeared was when the spirits heard a voice elsewhere and decided to correspond to it instead.

hence the disappearance.

and the emptiness that follows. yet again.