most of it.

not the night.

my loved one didn't get into her desired internship company. and didn't get into her second one as well.

life.

my sister's keeper was a great show.

it makes me wonder

perhaps dad left earlier coz he's afraid that if he didn't, he will turn into a vegetable or something else that will add onto our burden. if that happened, perhaps his daughter might not be able to dance as much as now. if that happened, perhaps his son might not be able to watch as much dvd as now. if that happened, perhaps mum will not be so actively helping out the cats. if that happened, perhaps we will never have chichi.

perhaps that's why, he left after 2 days in coma.

strangely, i feel that i understand how much Kate wants to die. if i were in her condition and i've the ability, i will end of my life immediately. not that i don't treasure my life, but that i believe by staying alive, i will bring much more pain to my family and friends as they have to put up with witnessing my suffering.

and i never liked to trouble others when i'm emo. only a few got the taste of it. and i'm always apologetic after that.

being me, strong front or not, i will definitely love to have my last dignity.

travelling back hall, i felt pain in the head and when i got back to my room, after repeated exposures to 失落沙洲, the pain transcends to the heart.

it's just that.

pain