My Ideal Funeral

One of my p school classmates died of motorcar incident today.

We weren't close. In fact, I don't recall talking to him at all.

His name is Faruk.

And he's just 21.

I guess when your life has come to an end, that's it.

That's all that you have.

I was telling Ed that i think i won't live long. I just have this feeling that I won't.

And I wonder too. How many more deaths will I witness around me in my life?

I spared a moment of thought. And I realised it seems a lot. And I couldn't bear to think.

When I crossed over to the other world, I hope to die with a smile. I guess thick makeup is a must. And if so, I hope it'll be stage makeup, coz my life is dedicated to the stage. I want to be dressed in sky blue and I would like my coffin to be classic black. I would like all the notes and letters that everyone wrote to me to be inside my coffin with me. I wish that my funeral could be held in some room so that my passing away will not affect those who shouldn't be affected.

And I don't want any chants or prayers or wadsoeva... Although that might mean that I won't be sent to the same place as my dad. I just don't want ppl to bear with the unbearable chants/prayers that I personally hate. I would like my favourite K songs and music to be played at my funeral instead. I want ppl to rem both my good and my bad... and not just my good points, like traditional chinese ppl always do, mentioning the good of the dead and not the bad. I want to be remembered as a human. I'm never sane.

I would like all those whom I've touched them in their lives to write notes for me and burn them to me so that I could read in the other world.

I want to be fed to the fire on the 3rd day of funeral, for i always like the number 3. And I don't want my shell to be around for too long.

It's just a shell. Nothing more than a shell.

Please, anyone who reads this blog. I dunno who you are, but please. If one day I were to die, please, contact whoever that's left in my family and tell them abt my ideal funeral.

It's my final wish on this sad, sad world.