everytime you scold me, reprimand me or raise your voice at me whenever i'm slow at reacting or just not doing what you think is right, i will feel very much like crying.

i will think of dad. i will think of how you suddenly became the sole breadwinner of the family. i will think of the amount of pressure being placed on you. i will think of how i used to cry when you taught me English from the scratch coz you were so fierce.

but i won't allow myself to cry. even if i cry, my tears shall fall silently like the snow and my voice shall not contain the tremble of leaves.

i shall just be a silent punchbag. i shall not rebut. i shall just suffer alone. coz you don't have to suffer more. and i can take sufferings. coz i've suffered so much that i'm used to it.

i only wish for you to be happy. coz i think that you are the best brother one could ever have. and i am so sorry that i could never be a proper helper coz i'm never as smart as you are.

tears fall. nothing known.

soba studio says:

however, the storm represent trouble
soba studio says:

it means tat u are very troubled at the moment
soba studio says:

and u are still undergoing the storm
soba studio says:

but i think u will be fine becuz u are a very strong gal

thanks xi. you're strong too.