a lot went through my mind.

but now i dunno how to materialize them into words.

i'm genuinely not angry. Disappointed? Yes. Sad? Yes.

i called. you answered and said to call back later. i called back later. you didn't pick up. i msg you twice to ask you when is the best time to call. then i suggested you calling me back instead since you're so busy. and you didn't. until i said that i'm gonna ignore you for 2 weeks. then you sms 2 words.

call me.

petty? perhaps. but can you really blame me for being petty?

you know, the best thing abt blogging is that, i can do it anytime as long as i've a comp/iphone. i dun have to implore for your attention.

i treat you as my best friend. you know it. i told you so much abt me. i trusted you. a lot.

and i hope that the usage of past tense didn't come to my fingertips so naturally.

when you are sad, i always try my best to be there. even when my friend is ard, i'll try to keep my phone by my side. coz i know that you are sad. and i want to be there.

i'm not saying that you are obliged to do the same. coz i want to be there for you. it's my choice. but i guess i expect some form of reciprocal as well. i'm not as magnanimous as i thought i could be. it just can't be a one-way communication/give-in.

and now, i'm lost for words. it's painful. but it won't kill.

i'll heal. alone. as always.