it has been a year without you.

whenever mum is not sober, she will ask many questions.

why why why why why?

questions to which there can never be satisfying answers.

questions that i'll never know how to answer.

in fact, nobody knows.

so what's the point of asking?

why ask?

times like this, i feel like asking her to stop asking.

it's just a waste of tears.

i'm not saying that i'm without doubts. i'm full of them.

why am i the one to endure this? why am i forced to go through this? why can't it be someone else? why does fate pick on us? why can't we spend a longer time with each other?

endless string of questions that the child of life will never finish joining the dots to the right answers.

right objective universally accepted answers.

but what can we do?

honestly, what can we do?

nothing. absolutely nothing but to pack up the mess, suck it in, move on.

that's all.

upon death, perhaps we'll know. perhaps we'll bring the questions with us into the coffins.

homo sapiens are so ephemeral.

i hope that before my flame goes out, i've brightened up ppl's lives.

dad, u did. definitely.

you've lit a flame in me that will never go out till my life ends.