darling i know how hard it is for you but pls know that we are all here for you.

yes, we. all of us.

love you very very very much.

wish to have you in my arms now.

i just came back from my friend's mini concert at NYGH audi.

her entire family came to support her.

we helped them with a family photo.

then, her father took out his phone to take a photo of her beautiful daughter in stage costume.

if i were to have any lesser control, i would have broken down already.

i was brought back to the times when you were still around to take photos of your daughter in glamorous costumes and exaggerated stage makeup, and when you never fail to tell her how much she shone on stage and how gorgeous she was, even if she did blunders during performances. i was brought back to the times when you and mum will wait in silence outside the theater while their daughter entertain her friends after concert, and welcome me with simple family warmth. all that i need.

i was so jealous.

so. very. much. jealous.

the jealousy came in the form of tears which i managed to suppress albeit much effort involved.

imagine the consequences if i didn't. everyone will be stunned, at a loss of what to do, and i would have spoilt everyone else's day.

and i would never want to hurt my girl.

so many times i've heard, to be yourself, pursue what you want, just go for it.

but so many times i did not do it.

perhaps i was really too practical.

but i'm an irony in existence.

i went home and mum told me that kao got some kidney problem, but she said it was nothing too serious.

but i'm scared.

I questioned myself.

What happened? And I found no answer.

I don't know what happened to me anymore.

I don't understand what I'm thinking.

And I have the slightest idea about what I want.

I hate to be submissive.

Or perhaps I'm afraid to be.

I never dare to take the gamble.

And I never dare to take the step.

But you'll be fine.

And I sincerely wish you all the best. =)

每一次的欢声笑语后
我都会不禁地想
这是不是只是我一厢情愿的希望

希望自己真的开心
希望自己真的能给周围的人带来快乐

生日快乐
对不起，伤害了你
但时光已逝
我惟有尝试弥补
做一个更好的朋友

失落沙洲

又來到這個港口 沒有原因的拘留
我的心乘著斑駁的輕舟
尋找失落的沙洲

隨 時間的海浪漂流
我用力張開雙手
擁抱那麼多起起落落
想念的還是你望著我的眼波

我不是一定要你回來
只是當又一個人看海
回頭才發現你不在
留下我迂迴的徘徊

我不是一定要你回來
只是當又把回憶翻開
除了你之外的空白
還有誰能來教我愛

又回到這個盡頭 我也想再往前走
只是愈看見海闊天空
愈遺憾沒有你分享我的感動

我不是一定要你回來
只是當又一個人看海
疲憊的身影不是我
不是你想看見的我

我不是一定要你回來
只是當獨自走入人海
除了你之外的依賴
還有誰能叫我勇敢

除了你之外的空白
還有誰能來教我愛

第一次跟着唱，竟然唱到哭了。
歌词与歌曲，感染力好强。
尤其是歌词，真的让我感同身受。。。

我觉得
自己的笑容好像变得不漂亮了。。。

failed driving.

i knew it. i just knew it.

prior to the test, i received so much depressing news.

ryan's dad passed away, the p4 girl knocked down by a CAR and died, witnessed a TRAFFIC accident e day before today, got a freaking tough press release assignment on a release of a new CAR, mum telling me abt a mum and daughter bringing a dead kitten to the vet not knowing that it's dead...

best part. the rain started falling heavily just as i started my driving test and i couldn't see e back view properly and had to go for multiple attempts.

my life.

this is my life. this is how much it resembles a joke.

this is how amazingly suay it could be.

疯子

刷牙我想哭　洗脸我想哭　
走路我想哭　静止我想哭
出太阳我想哭　起风我想哭　
听歌我想哭　看喜剧我想哭

我控制不住自己　
负担太重的情绪
我拒绝　面对结局　
沉重的问题 我不想听

你给的很多规矩　
说了很久的道理　
却麻木了我的心
再压抑　再压抑　我快不行
天摇地动　昏天暗地

有眼泪没眼泪　你觉得我疯了
我瞬间耳鸣　听不见你们说的
我疯言我疯语　眼泪让我瞎了
模糊我眼前世界　
原来快乐要用悲伤换得

可值不值得　你别想否认　
我要的自由能不能得永生
可是我累了　我只好哭了　
我像疯子般的不停的哭
我没有出路　
你也当我是个疯子　
我是个疯子