happy belated daddy.

a wish, i hope will reach a place unreachable.

失落非主流- Jay

你的绘画凌乱着
在这个时刻
我像气氛纯白的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了
时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
一开始都不快乐
你用卡片纸写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得

你不懂了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢
怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了
我都还记得

总的来说，只能讲每个人都不一样吧。

有些人觉得自己单方面的行动对周围的人并不会有什么波动， 而就做出决定性的举动。以自己为中心的举动。并不是说这不正确。我得承认每个人都是自私的，我也不例外。但我会尽力地让自己融入，在适当的时候主动出击，减低自己的痛苦，而不是尽全力地对自己落井下石。直到我真的无法让自己快乐起来的时候，不得已才弃权。但至少我没有对不起自己，对不起身边的人。至少你身边的人会看到这份努力。至于自己有没有努力过，至于自己在不在乎身边的人有没有看到这份努力，只有自己才知道。

总的来说，只能讲每个人都不一样吧。

有些人对朋友很在乎，有些人对朋友的定义很含糊。每个人对朋友的牺牲都有一定的限制，有些甚至不愿意牺牲，有些则可以毫无顾虑地牺牲。两者都不健康。但总的来说，只能讲每个人都不一样吧。 你为朋友做出的付出并不一定会得到回报。当然，友情不能时刻讲求回报。但想想吧朋友，感情不是单方面的心甘情愿可以建立的。不一定要事事求公正，但一定要你情我愿，不是吗？

当一个人觉得自己得不到让自己满足的回报，他应知道，是时候慢慢松手了。舍不得，但不能让自己对自己不公平，不能让自己伤心。 可能对于他来说，你的存在与否， 根本没什么不同。喜欢朋友是因为能得到认同，能让自己的世界增添多一些色彩， 能让自己不再那么以自己为中心。 但当自己不能让朋友有那样的感觉的时候，可能应该慢慢撤退了。

总的来说，只能讲每个人都不一样吧。

讲我吧。我有很多不一样的朋友。季节性，长久性，近距离，远距离等。曾经有几个亲密的朋友说过我，说我总是等人叫自己出去才会出去。真的很惭愧。但最近发生的事情太多了。而且住进宿舍后较少时间在家，所以不怎么想出门。希望你们谅解。我会提醒自己改变的。

我本身认为自己很幸运。有很多人对我很好。当然，我也对很多人好。我总说，我会尽力。 说得出，我会尽力做得到。自己知道，朋友知道，就好。我曾为自己的朋友落泪，生气， 但最后都能得到解决。

总的来说，只能讲每个人都不一样吧。

yesterday, i was loitering at the hdb void deck.
where exactly is this hdb located, i don't know.
i was just walking aimlessly.
until i saw my brother.
and dad lying in the coffin.
it was all shocking.
we were all truly taken aback.
mum came along and we were all sobbing.
suddenly, dad woke up.
he was totally fine.
we couldn't believe it. and were drunk in relief and happiness.

the next moment, i woke up.
and i realised that no, my dream is not going to come true.
for a short while i really believed it.

i thought what i'm leading now is all but a dream.

The lil' kitten, after being fed, was gleefully playing with the ribbons...
and nibbling my ankle as well =)

I'm sleepy... too!

I hope you can see him too.
You've been away for 3 mths...

my love =)
nvm my background blabbering. concentrate on Chichi. he's damn happy after his milk.



YES I LOVE TORTILLA CHIPS x)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSu8-A2QTAg

reason being that i'm still unsure if kao and mum will take Chichi away when i'm away.
i'm really afraid of that.
i'm all committed and tied with this lil' fellow.

when mum brought me to see the 7 kittens that some f*cking bastard abandoned at some hdb void deck and they were fostered by this friend of ours, i couldn't control my tears. they've lost their mum and i felt the same. i picked up Chichi and i felt a connection established.

it's love at 1st sight. really.

for those of you who learn jap, i'm sure u know what Chichi means. kao asked and mum asked, but i kept quiet lest i teared upon mention.

it means daddy.

since ytd when we picked him up, there never was once when i could control my tears when i see him sucking his milk bottle or simply looking at me with curious exploring eyes. i felt that Chichi filled up some of the emptiness in me. i felt that he is the lil' joy in my life.

i felt that he's a gift from Dad.

kao brought neko, mum brought xixi, dad brought oka, i brought chichi.

although we could never be together again, i really hope the cats that we brought will manage to stay under one roof and enjoy each other's company.

on our behalf.

i really do. and i'm all ready to take up the responsibility to take care of him till his end.

not just him, but neko, xixi and oka as well.

having a pet is a life's promise. u've to take care of him/her till his/her end.

i hope i have the life to do that.

but if kao and mum want to give him back, i'm helpless.

but really, it's just like hope being taken away, from my sorrow-ridden 2008.


a gift for those who have the patience to finish my entry...

家好月圆终于大结局了。

在Jo鲍生日当天，他许了一个愿望。

“我身体比你好，你死得比我早。”

当中的“你”，是指他的妻子。

他希望他能照顾她，他希望失去同伴的痛苦由他一个人承受。

昨天入眠前，我想起了这句话，又落泪了。

爸爸，相信你在世时也有这样的愿望吧?